In the African American community more so than any other we experience a great deal of women that unfortunately must take on the responsibility of raising a child on their own. They may have other supports such as family, loved ones and friends to assist but not always. These women are extremely strong mentally, physically and emotionally. The reasons fathers choose to exit their child(rens) lives are various but NONE seem to render a legitimate EXCUSE (they are ALL excuses btw). But before we rag on the men too much remember that SOMETIMES it is the other way around.
âSingle fathersâ or âMr. Momsâ seem to be a taboo topic for our community. Especially black men left to raise a daughter(s). It is often thought that the mother must have passed away; as if only this extreme would be the reason for a woman to abandon her child, when there are SEVERAL lifetime and hallmark movies about it and orphanages ARENâT EMPTY! Some women simply werenât cut out for the job. Just because a female can produce doesnât mean she can NURTURE. Hell even some animal species EAT THEIR YOUNG!

I have only been a mommy for 7 months and seem to already know more than some. It is sad to know that some mothers never took to motherhood or being able to sacrifice for the well-being of their child. Letâs take the fathers out of the equation since the old saying went âmothers baby, fathers maybeâ. This was a quote to downplay the roll of a father and up play the role of a mother, which is DEFINITELY not fair but in some cases true. The twist to the plot is that now days it could be the complete opposite yet people seem to always believe the mothers side. Not all MOTHERS are mommys. Some truly are ONLY BABY MAMAS! I SAID WTF I SAID .
M- MAD at the world because she couldnât keep her legs closed or get on some sort of birth control so she would stop having children she couldnât and WONT take care of.
A- ATTITUDE for no reason at those that try to drop knowledge on her and help her HELP HERSELF AND HER KID(S). More than likely because she knows she is wrong but canât find it in herself to do BETTER!
M- MANIACAL (yes itâs a real word and it is defined as a violent and extremely wild person). Women that have nothing to lose (not even the respect of their children) so they attempt to drag everyone else around them down as well and if it doesnât work they lash out.
A- ADOLESCENT outlook PERIODT. Young and immature in nature, a child herself in the head so she was and STILL not prepared to take care of her child(ren).
Ladies DO BETTER!! Nobody cares if he was a âdogâ, lied to you, hurt you, wasnât who you thought he was etc. YOUR CHILD HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!!!! They deserve the best they can obtain and if it isnât with YOU then ATLEAST ensure it is with someone that will truly take care of them, love them and desire their company ALL THE TIME, not just when itâs convenient or cute for pictures. If the dad is the one that would like to take care of them LET HIM!!! Stop being bitter because it didnât work out WITH YOU and he can be a bigger person for the soul of his babies. Go get HELP and hopefully come back to your responsibilities. Woman to woman and MOMMY to baby M.A.M.A.
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I am not defending women who do not try to do their best or who are not mature enough to know what to do. Or haven’t had anyone to teach them what to do. I hope they encounters someone who guide them through motherhood before there’s too much damage done to the child.
But you must take in full consideration that African American women earn less than any segment in America society but yet, is expected to do the same amount of things with considerable less money. That is impossible.
Lack of resources are the main reasons many things turn out the way they do. These factors have a great impact on how a child is raised.
These things, like lack of father involvement are a carry over from slavery in America. Back then, the black man was discouraged from forming a bond with the child and the child’s mother. This is why people need to study and learn where a way of thinking and behaving comes from.
However, If the mother won’t or can’t step up to the plate, then it’s the father’s job to step up and raise the child. Many of these assumptions about a black man can’t or won’t raise his children are fairly recent and very urban. Historically, black men have always raised their children if the mother couldn’t. I don’t know why the later generation is making such a big deal of it. Usually, a female relative helped him with the girls.
Congratulation on your new baby. I wish you well.
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Thank you so much for your response! I love to hear and know what others that read my blogs think!đ You are so right!!! The Willie Lynch Letter details how in-depth slave masters went into the psyche of African Americans to brain wash them, if you will. It was stated that if the white man continued to follow the rules and guidelines for how to âMake A Slaveâ we/us would be enslaved for 300 years or more. Unfortunately we are not doing much to change this idea even over 300 years later. I have much faith in the black woman. In spite of feeling 4th place to the white man, black man and white woman, WE CAN MAKE THE CHANGE! It starts with us and how we raise OUR children.
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I like your blog because the contents are real. đ I agree, black people are going to have to move beyond the brainwashing and see it for what it was.
After Emancipation black men looked for their children and the woman or women sold away from him. If he couldn’t find them, he often took on parentless children and raised them as his own.
The irresponsible self -center black man that is so prominent in the black community is something very new. This mentality started taking root in the late 60’s, early 70’s at the height of the Civil Rights Movement.
I, too believe black women will come out on top because so often, up was the only way they had to go. Their ingeniousness is legendary.
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I love your spirit and your energy! You just touched me from wherever you are! đthank you!!! We will make it right đŞđž đŻ
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đ đŞđž đŻ . Continue to be as great as you. đ
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Please check out my first African American childrenâs book âSame Kind of Peopleâ on Amazonđ¤ 10% of the proceeds go to: The Black Child Development Institute in Greensboro NC! To support black children most likely NOT to succeed with education materials, tutoring and summer camps!
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Thanks for letting me know about your book.
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No problem! Do you have any books??
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Thanks for asking. Yes, I have several published books. https://www.amazon.com/A.-White/e/B01N0N9C1T/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0
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Can you give me a summary of what the book is about? I would like to list it on my blog. đ
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Of course!!! Thank you for your love and support!!!âđžâđžâđžWe ARE the change we wish to see!!đŻ
Same Kind of People hopes to inspire all African-American, bi-racial and other genres of ethnic children to be proud of who they are as well as others JUST LIKE THEM. Wonderfully and beautifully made to add a bit of color to the world. In honor of lives lost due to racism, discrimination and hate 10% of all proceehds from this book will be donated to the National Black Child Development Institute, their mission is to improve and advance the quality of life for black children and their families through education and advocacy.
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Thank you. đ
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Do you have a Facebook? I understand if that is your PERSONAL space. However, so is mine and Iâd like to add you if youâd be willing to be friends âşď¸
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That would be nice. I have several pages here are two. https://www.facebook.com/alma.white.522
https://www.facebook.com/Unholy.Pursuit.Devilonmytrail/
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I would like the same. Do you have a Facebook page?
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Yes, Sylk Gee đ
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I see Facebook has changed. Now you have to sign in to view a page. đ Sylk Gee
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Mind— if I asked a question, I noticed there’s no preview of your book. Was it done intentionally? đĽş
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How are you today! Yes! lol the preview is on my facebook as well as a short excerpt here on my blog. The book is also now on Barnes & Nobles Website.
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